Hey, me…. :)
It's fun to think I am writing on the internet, where everyone can see my thoughts but no one will read this. It's sorta like how my momma would always be incogneto at my volleyball games because she doesn't like people. So, even though theres so many people around, I feel pretty secluded.
Anyways, back to the point! During second semester, Grandma Holman and I thought up of a great idea to read Tuesdays with Morrie together. It was the best idea i've heard in my entire life. Grama wanted to read the book but the words are too small, I want to be with her and spend time but we are so far away from eachother, and I also enjoy talking about the important things in life with gramma, she's a wise women. I have learned alot from talking to her over the phone and these memories will last a lifetime.
Grandma also thought of the idea to write real letters to each other, we would pick what we would want the other to write about. She sent hers to me and I will share what it said after I write mine, which is taking forever. I started a while back but lost everything I had written so I am going to start over on here! Where, hopefully, I won't lose it. :p
Dear Grama Holman,
"One day spent with someone you love can change everything." - Thats a quote by mitch albom, not in our book but from "For One More Day". I just wanted to say how much I love you, and how everytime we talk on the phone for hours or read together, It changes my whole outlook on life and brings me back to ground.
So you wanted me to write about my goals, both short and long term, because you say it's nice to have a idea where you'd like to go. Even though we both know God's plan can take you in a totally different direction, but he turns whatever decision you make into the best scenario for His purpose and our lives. So, as of my short little 19 year life, this is where I see myself heading.
Short term:
School -
I want to graduate from AU
Get a Internship in D.c, so much to do there it would be a waste if I didn't
enjoy the city life because i am not sure I would want to live there my entire life.
I would enjoy to study abroad, I want to look into scholarships to help me out, there are plenty out there.
Join a acadmic club
Stay focused and motivated and ontop of my school work and grades, that is why I am in college anyways.
Volleyball-
I want to come into volleyball this season with confidence in God's natural talents he's given me. I all too many times think that how I am in volleyball is soley because of me and that either places too much pressure or creates overconfidence and neither are healthy. But if I just do the best I can with God as my platform, I don't need to worry about being cocky because nothing is from my own and I can still be humble no matter how good I become because all the credit goes to God. I feel like the more I mature, the easier this becomes for me. So this summer, I have been working out everyday and getting into good physical condition but also conditioning my mind, so when I return to the team in the fall I can be a sound solid player. Whether or not im the libero, or a ds or a bench warmer or decide volleyball is not for me, it will be okay, because volleyball is not my life's purpose nor does it define me. I can only truly enjoy the talents God's given me when I am willing to go without them if He asked. Which now I can answer Yes but before I most definitly let volleyball consume my life and become a idol and let it dicate my entire day. You can even tell by the length of this section, how big of a part it is in my life and is still something I need to check before God daily.
However, once I realize God is the fountain of which everything flows, including volleyball I am able to shine to my full potential for God and he will guide me. This quote pretty much sums the solution to my thoughts regaurding volleyball, because I would put so much pressure of doing the best I can, without God and then would be scared to do good because I would try to be humble and not do too good so others didn't feel inadequate.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
My platform I play for everyday is God's glory and that is humbling and makes me wanna do the best I can for Him and whatever come out of it volleyball wise is trivial.
Church-
I want to continue to form great relationships at my chuch on campus, maybe get involved more with the leadership side.
I want to hang out with my friends in the church more, I think they are such great people and I just need to take the initative.
I want to join a church community outside of campus too! Maybe one where I can help them with their youth program and a church that doesn't really have much and could use some help.
Invite people to church and small group more once I have a relatonship with them.
FCA-
I will be leading fca this year along with two other of my friends. I love that we split the leadership roles up and share because it makes individual relationships within fca easier and that gets people involved and everyone is good at something different.
I want to plan to set up a booth and try to invite more non varsity athletes
Get the word out, we just started the club not even a year ago so it will be really open to growth.
Try to get the new girls/old girls on my team involved more and a rep from every team
I am just really excited with all the ideas I have in my head
-tshirts
-more events/outtings on the weekends and tuesdays
We started with 9 and we had 20 at one meeting so I know God is going to work in so many more great ways!
Personal:
I want to work on being more cleanlier :p as far as my room goes in college.
I am trying to cook more often so I can learn in case I ever need to fend for myself
I want to start journaling my thoughts more, like they don't have to be long but I know I will enjoy looking back on them in the future.
I want to get a job nannying, on campus, or off campus next school year. I love to be busyy
Trying to not wish this time by too fast and enojoy every day,stage,year,and moment of my life. I just get soo excitedd!
But yeah, those are my goals for not gramma. Next blog post/ letter will be about my long term goals, and then the goals I want for my relationships. I don't want to write down it all in my first letter but this is a great start and my plans for the next three years, improving myself everday with the help of God and just trying to draw myself closer to him and when I do that everything else follows suit. "we are all in the process of becoming" so i know I won't be done by the time I graduate but then I can work hopefully being a great wife and mother…. in the future…. not any time soon :p
I love you so much great gramma
see you soon,
Alex
